Turns Out Trans Fats Feel as Good as They Taste

“Body butter, drenching.”

“Body butter, drenching.”

“Body butter, dren – oops, there’s my exit!”

If ever there was a morning I needed a good buttering and drenching, today was it.  I had left a husband making crêpes in my just-cleaned kitchen, my floors had sticky puddles on top of the sticky puddles that needed cleaning last week, and my laundry piles had physically eaten my laundry room.  Engulfed.  Digested.  Gone. Burp. I was headed for ninety minutes of being slathered in something akin to butter, being wrapped in plastic and blankets until it absorbed, then I would be massaged until I was unconscious.  (Maybe I added that last part)  To say I was excited is to say the sea is wet; there may have been actual skipping as I got out of my car in the parking lot.

The Sego Lily Mind Body Spa isn’t just pretty; it’s a knockout.  The Palladio colors and architecture are reminiscent of something you’d stumble across in an Italian countryside, were you lucky enough to stumble across a wellness spa as you hoofed it through the Italian countryside.  This isn’t a strip mall spa; there are no cheesy posters on the wall, no sixteen year-olds getting their hair blown out for prom in the front room, no smell of nail polish remover wafting or fluorescent lighting overhead.  From the moment you walk through the heavy wrought iron doors, you get the message: This is an escape.


After I checked in and was shown to the changing room, I was given my eggplant chenille-lined robe and spa slippers and instructed to change and wait for my therapist in the relaxation room.  I couldn’t get there as fast as planned – the changing room alone could’ve held my interest for twenty minutes.  Spa quality face lotions and rinses, complimentary Q-tips, hair elastics, razors, deodorant, hairspray; that was just the stuff by the sink!  There were showers, a steam room, a sauna – you name it.  Had I somewhere to go other than home to my laundry room’s skeletal remains, I would’ve been set.  Then, the relaxation room:  They aren’t kidding; I was tempted to ditch the treatment and see how long I could go unnoticed on the huge, overstuffed couches.  Low light, an assortment of herbal teas, hot chocolate, mints, fresh fruit and – get this – a melody of dried fruit on which I could drizzle dark chocolate syrup infused with antioxidants!  Stop it, Sego Lily.  You’re messing with my reality.


After a few relaxing minutes and ample snooping, Kaylie appeared in her all-black attire and I mean business apron and greeted and escorted me to my room.  So it began.  This wasn’t my first rodeo, if you get my drift, so I assured Kaylie, as she walked me through the process, that this body had seen ample time inside a spa.  How wrong I was – there are treatments, and then there are treeeeeeaaatments. Kaylie rubbed me in something that was literally the texture and consistency of butter, except it smelled like lime verbena and the aroma combined with the warmth of the room made me feel like I was lying on a beach somewhere, sun drenched to my toes.  And did I mention the table was warmed?  Warmed!  The gentle heat radiated up from my underside and wrapped around me like a blanket – oh wait, that was the actual blanket Kaylie wrapped me in when she was through slathering; a cozy cocoon so snugly and moist I felt akin to a baked potato in foil, sizzling away on the oven’s top rack.  While I marinated, Kaylie covered my eyes in an herbal  mask (Yum, lavender.  And again with the warming!) and massaged my neck and shoulders; there was contact with pressure points, pulling and maneuvering, and I was a limp noodle.  Once I was peeled from my toasty shell, the massage began.


I’d like to give you intimate details of the massage but it was a complete out of body experience and might’ve lasted minutes or days – couldn’t tell you.  I was so relaxed, somewhere betwixt and between being asleep, that I only remember being rubbed and touched so wonderfully I felt completely at peace.  And I forgot the dishes.  And I forgot the laundry.  I forgot the constant list that I write in my head every waking moment.  And I just was. Ninety minutes from the start we were through.  Kaylie was the quintessential massage therapist; speaking only enough to make me feel connected though never requiring constant dialogue.  She was firm and confident and though she probably tips the scales at 90 pounds, she worked all 5’11’’ of me like putty in her hands.  Once I pulled myself together and headed out the door, I let out a long sigh and reminded myself why every mother, nay every woman, deserves time to herself to indulge in something that makes her feel energized.  Women deplete their stores on a daily basis; Sego Lily wipes the slate clean, if for only ninety minutes, so that we can take off our robes, suit back up and face the world again; or at the very least, the laundry piles.  Woman, get thee to Sego Lily.

250 replies
  1. jake
    jake says:

    Amanda’s Post mistakenly did not come up until 11:50AM, about 7 hours after everyone elses, this was an error on my part. I apologize to Amanda and assure her that we will make sure the voting has plenty of time to work itself out so that it’s fair to her! Happy voting!

  2. angel christenen
    angel christenen says:

    I’m relaxing just thinking about it. I need to indulge so I can keep going. Thanks Amanda

  3. katie terry
    katie terry says:

    well and perfectly said about the experience that you were able to have! i could almost feel the relaxation vibes coming through the computer!

    i read all of the experiences and yours was the best…simple and straight to the wonderful point!

    go amanda!!!

  4. christy
    christy says:

    Oh, and maybe to make up for posting hers so late – you could move hers to the top of the pile instead of down at the end?!

  5. whitney
    whitney says:

    I always wonder what a spa is like on the inside, never wanting to try them in the case that they are all shell and no delicious center. Glad to know what to expect and it is just what I want to expect. I vote for Amanda!

  6. Becky
    Becky says:

    Is there really any question who the winner of this contest should be??? Seriously. After reading all the entries, I was most inspired (and motivated to make an appointment) by Amanda’s post. Her writing is fantastic and her wit pleasantly funny. She is real and should be Sego Lily’s official blogger.

  7. Underdogs Unite
    Underdogs Unite says:

    Just added Amanda as an Underdog since she’s gotten such a late start! On Monday we’ll post about the contest so hopefully our other members will read the entries and vote.

  8. Zach
    Zach says:

    Amanda is the bomb. Unfortunately, the glitch may cost her the contest but she is the true winner.

  9. Brandon
    Brandon says:

    I can vouch that my wife was both slippery and relaxed; just the way I like her. She gets my vote.

  10. Katie
    Katie says:

    Go amanda! Take state! You rock my world! Now come over here and slather me with butta!

  11. Karly Kinnersley-Mellen
    Karly Kinnersley-Mellen says:

    I LOVE this girl! She is such a creative writer and I find myself cracking up! GO FIGHT WIN and EVERYONE vote for this chicka! Good Luck!

  12. Rebecca
    Rebecca says:

    I vote for Amanda! I don’t even like the spa and her post made even me think about scheduling a treatment!

  13. Linda
    Linda says:

    Amanda is the most gifted writer and prompted me to put “schedule a spa Saturday” at Sego Lily on this month’s to-do list. Better make up for your late uplink snafu!

  14. meg
    meg says:

    i got relaxed just reading… i’m on vacation just wishing i was home so i could go to the spa. nice work amanda – i know its a tough job.

  15. Molly
    Molly says:

    Amanda–your writing has always been top drawer and this post was no exception. Sego Lily would be lucky to have you! Way to go!

  16. Kristen
    Kristen says:

    Amanda MUST win – she needs a break from all the electric creativity in her brain! She really knows how to write and make me jealous that I was not the one on the massage table!

  17. erin
    erin says:

    Amanda… you continue to amaze me with your writing… Thanks lady. I can’t wait for your next post.

  18. Trish
    Trish says:

    Go Amanda! I’m a big fan of all good spas…so much so that I got married at a resort with one of the best in the world! Wishing you the best of luck with the contest and many ears of wonderful spa treatments one way or another!

  19. Jocee Bergeson
    Jocee Bergeson says:

    Go Amanda….you are the most entertaining writer. I want to go to Sego Lily too! 🙂

  20. Kelly
    Kelly says:

    Amanda, Thank you for transporting me to the Sego Lily. It’s been that kind of week for me too. I could almost feel the body butter drenching and the mind numbing massage. WISH I COULD BE THERE!

  21. Aimee Heffernan
    Aimee Heffernan says:

    Brilliant writing. After reading through them all, this is the clear winner in my opinion.

  22. Melissa
    Melissa says:

    Amanda definitely gets my vote. Nobody has the descriptive powers that Amanda has. She would be the perfects blogger for your business.

  23. Sadie
    Sadie says:

    I don’t even live in Utah but you know I’ll be at Sego Lily the next time I’m in town. This post convinced me of that.

  24. Laura
    Laura says:

    Amanda’s is my fave; after reading her post I think I’m going to have to make a trip to Utah and put Sego Lily on the itinerary . . .

  25. Jolene
    Jolene says:

    Amanda should win hands down. She is such a talented writer, after reading her experience of the spa treatments, I can’t wait to pamper myself at Sego Lily also.

  26. josie
    josie says:

    I think Amanda needs like 25 extra votes because she wasn’t represented as quickly as the other contestants. VOTING FOR AMANDA!

  27. Morgan
    Morgan says:

    I think she needs 50 extra votes for the cleverist title. Love you Amanda and your writing…and I am totally going to this spa next time I am in Salt Lake.

  28. Heidi
    Heidi says:

    Thanks for the most relaxing post, Amanda! I’ve never had a massage before or even been to a spa, but am convinced that I NEED one! I vote Amanda!

  29. andria
    andria says:

    Just reading this makes me want to book a treatment right now. I need to forget all the lists in my head…..

  30. Abigail DeGraff
    Abigail DeGraff says:

    I vote for Amanda! Even though her post was delayed, it wins hands down for wit and originality.

  31. Allison Short
    Allison Short says:

    Not only do I love Amanda and her writing, now I’m in love with Sego Lily Day Spa! Thanks Amands! My vote is for you!

  32. Amy Dixon
    Amy Dixon says:

    Go Amanda! Your blog is the best!

    You reminded me that I need regular massages. aaahhhhhhh . . . .

  33. Emily Olsen
    Emily Olsen says:

    Amanda is brilliant. Somehow she turns my mundane life into a series of small comedies. Love her.

  34. Laura
    Laura says:

    My vote is for Amanda! Great writer, and she makes me wish I were local so I could enjoy the spa!

  35. Lisa
    Lisa says:

    I have been following Amanda’s blog for a few months. She is such an excellent writer! I don’t care how many comments the other contestants get, Amanda is your gal! She get my vote!

  36. CBH
    CBH says:

    As a guy – I can’t really imagine doing the spa thing…but everything is better with butter!

  37. Dad Can Cook
    Dad Can Cook says:

    There is no substitute for butter! So if I was going to do anything at a spa, I would pick the treatment that involved butter. Go Amanda!

  38. Gloria
    Gloria says:

    I vote for Amanda. (I thought I had the other day but I don’t see my name here so here goes)
    Amanda – I SO hope you win!

  39. Lori
    Lori says:

    I really enjoyed Amanda’s writing style. Clever, concise and convincing.
    My votes for Amanda!

  40. Donna
    Donna says:

    Give me an A
    Give me an M
    Give me an A
    Give me an N
    Give me an A
    Give me a D
    Give me an A

    what do you have?
    A winner!!!!

  41. Angie
    Angie says:

    I don’t have any affiliation to any of these five bloggers, but Amanda’s was by far the most convincing, the most mouth-watering, and the most desire-inducing description of her spa service. She’s really a great writer. I vote for her since I’d rather read her posts than anyone elses.

  42. Mr. Cubs
    Mr. Cubs says:

    I think she is one of best bloggers that I have read. I think she should definitely take the prize.

  43. Nancy Dixon
    Nancy Dixon says:

    I love Amanda’s blog, she clearly has a way of connecting and is wonderful to read. She gets my vote!

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